Monday, August 11, 2008

Summer is Slipping Away...

I feel it. The little tiny voice is whispering...enjoy each precious second...summer is slowing slipping away...

My classroom is calling me to come back to set up and begin another year. It is time to prepare the classroom. I look forward to meeting new faces and going through the rhythms of another school year.

Looking back on summer...this will be the year I remember the tiny yellow finches. I love how they fly, their beautiful songs floating in between their swoops in flight. Two bird feeders in the backyard at Vickie's bring me joy as I drink my coffee in the morning and sit on the back deck. It is the year of learning the life of a creek. Several creeks are in the neighborhoods where I live and riding my bike all summer exploring has been a lot of fun. There are lots of frogs that live here. I even saw a tadpole in between the tadpole and frog cycle of life! It had a leech on it but my friend pulled it off and saved his little life.

It is the summer I truly learned how to fish. I love the full days of being out in nature and there are so many beautiful, wonderful places in Michigan to explore. I have been to two dams, several ponds and lakes and had several adventure days at the Blue Water Bridge. I have my own pole now and have even baited my own hook with worms and lures. I have caught all kinds of things; catfish, brown bass, green small mouthed bass, large mouthed bass, blue gills, carp, rock bass, creek chub...to name a few.

I have spent many evenings watching my friend play hockey at several Ice Arenas in the area. It has been healing and meditative for me to watch the teams go back and forth with the puck and I also have gotten into watching the NHL last winter and spring. I know most of the teams now and many of the key players...on top of following the Red Wings, of course.

I had the best fourth of July with some of the best fireworks I have ever seen and I have done more sparklers this summer then I have done since I was a child. Celebrating my independence this year. My freedom is not taken for granted. I lit roman candles for the first time and my first bottle rockets...I have laughed and had fun.

I have returned to reading, listening to music, writing in my journal, working out at LIfetime. I am even practicing piano. Guitar has stayed with me throughout it all. I forced myself to continue my lessons throughout the last year...even when I didn't want to go. The discipline has paid off and I am enjoying it once again. I am returning to who I am. My Mom cried the other day when I was visiting and played her favorite song "Hello Again" on the piano...she feels like I'm myself again and I've come back again to being myself.

I have not returned to church yet. I am not sure when I will. I tried returning on a Wednesday last week and there was not a time listed on the Kensington website. I am not quite sure where I fit in at church. I think so differently than the typical churchgoer and do not enjoy any of the politics or socializing associated with it. I do miss contemplating in the pew and worshipping in a group setting. I occasionally miss the sermons (more like pep talks really) and I do miss hearing the scriptures read outloud. Somehow Kensington seems to yuppie-like for me. This is the summer my childhood church, First United Methodist in Pontiac, finally had to close the doors. Not enough members. It has been an inevitable thing, but it is sad to see. It was a traditional, simple church and sometimes seemed more like real church to me... So, I do wonder where I will go next and where I fit in...I am leaning towards a more traditional Methodist or Lutheran church.

My faith is still strong. I believe in a loving Creator...I worship on my own, pray on my own, read and write and ponder spiritual things...it is and always will be a foundation of who I am. I don't think it makes me a better person- it is just part of who I am. I am grateful to believe in a forgiving, caring Father...I believe in loving others as imperfectly as I can and above all, not judging others.

So, before I forget, there are some tidbits of the summer of 2008. It has been a time of reflection, peace, quiet and coming back into who I am. A summer of returning to my maiden name, changing my driver's license, voter's card, bank accounts and endless paperwork changing beneficiaries, name and address. I have done it slowly and carefully and in my own time. I signed over my condo and am now saving up to buy my own home in the next year or two. I forgot how much fun saving money can be and I never realized how much money I really do make, all on my own!

It will be strange heading back to school with my new/old name but I am looking forward to the future more than I ever thought I would. I feel peace and joy and hope for the future. One day at a time...

My saying goodbye to summer will end with one grand trip to San Francisco. I have never been there and am so looking forward to traveling again...seeing the world will always be a part of who I am. When I return on Labor Day I will take a deep breath before plunging into another new beginning and another new year.

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